I can’t even lie to yall I cried when I saw my name on that list on finalists!! I was working and got a notification on my Instagram, that I had been added to a story—I legit thought what kind of SPAM did I get added on??! I was not expecting to see my name on this list! I haven’t been active on social media because my phone had been sent to apple to be fixed and I have been very tired from the steroids, so I honestly wasn’t keeping track of anything… I slipped into that mindset of no one even cares what I post…. In the 5 years, I have been blogging this has come up a lot, but I always get that moment and realize why I did this in the first place feeling!

5 years ago, when I started my blog it was a place for me to vent and process my very scary story with my Crohn’s —I never thought I would be invited to do podcasts and collaborations. I never thought that I would be asked to write articles for other blogs, let alone be told I am a positive influence and people enjoy seeing my journey.

              I have always been a writer. Journaling has been a secret past time of mine. I honestly think I can thank Harriet the Spy for this!

Writing has always been a way for me to get my emotions under control and give me a sense of clarity.

I learned early on that the community for IBD was small. Crohn’s has always seemed like a bathroom disease and who wants to talk about that?! It is not cute, it’s embarrassing and downright depressing!?!? What 20-year-old should be worrying about pooping themselves? I felt that none of my friends could ever understand. They surely didn’t understand why I couldn’t eat out while I was receiving my nutrition through a picc line. I just got tired of trying to explain myself and when I looked online no one really looked like me. I saw people I wanted to be like but knew I never could.

I started my blog and promised myself I would discuss the good, bad, and ugly so people could bond and be empowered to share their thoughts and experiences.

I learned I was pretty good at empowering people and most importantly it felt right to me. I ended up pursuing my master’s in clinical social work. I really was able to learn so much on how to really help others and honestly help myself. I was able to work on goals, trying to meet people where they are in their journeys and to listen empathically. While we all walk similar journeys, they are all different and that’s what makes this community so beautiful and awesome!

My biggest goal I have is to make people feel understood and that they can take charge. I have been to so many doctor’s appts that the doctors have told me they hold the MD—well good for you. I am very happy you went to school and learned all you did—I mean no disrespect; I just know my body well enough to speak my mind. I have learned to say, thank you, and go find another option. Some people need to hear that they can disagree with their doctors and that’s okay. I have had so many people ask me what I would do and I just tell them to really do the research before they go in. Look at what testing could be done and ask for it. If you can’t have that kind of conversation with your medical team, they might not be a good fit for you. In my small town, I have had to travel over two hours to see second even third opinions. Bottom line you are your biggest advocate and your voice matters. You are the biggest part of your medical team and don’t lose sight of that!

The reason why I got so emotional when I saw my name is honestly because it means the world to me. It means that I am doing exactly what I set to do and this is to bring awareness. By people clicking on gotguts08 you are learning the words Crohn’s, Endometrioses and PCOS. You can see my battles with anxiety and all I have tried. You can see what has not worked and all the stuff that has. I hope there have been some laughs and some moments of, “Oh, true story”! I hope some moments honestly make you cringe and see /feel the pain I feel because that lets everyone know you are not alone.

Good luck to all the finalists!!

-XO,